A Meeting

[slytheringal]

Alexis nodded as she listened to Reniara's words. She was starting to feel a little bit more comfortable with her the more she sat and talked with her, which was good, because she wanted to feel comfortable and trust Reniara for her father's sake. Of course, if she didn't like a person she would either say it to their face or tell the person that introduced them to each other that she did not like someone. But Reniara was different and it seemed like things were going good so far. Alexis, however, did not dare tell her or reveal that she was a D.E., hoping Reniara did not already know.

"I can't imagine growing up to become an assassin and such. Were your parents assassins too," Alexis replied as she wanted to know more about Reniara's past, only if she wanted to share of course, but Alexis was always interested in a person's past, just never getting up the courage to ask about her mother. "My life had it's ups and downs but overall was great. I mean, I learned Potions when I was seven. That's also when I learned I was a witch. I got angry at my father and caused the books to fall off the shelf. I was scared at the time, but now I just laugh when I think of it. But growing up without a mother, I think I turned out pretty great, even though, some people call me Snape jr. since I am so much like my father, but I can hold my own," Alexis replied laughing a bit at that last part.

[Reniara Ashwar]

Reniara Ashwar
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You can try to break me, but it won't ever happen. Keep thinking you understand me when all you have is nothing.
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Speech: Reniara listened to Alexis words and she laughed when she mentioned the books falling off the shelf. She thought Alexis was a great person so far, no matter what her views were in life. Reniara had the feeling that Alexis had probably applied her feelings on blood status to her line of work, which is why she hoped that their paths would never cross in a fight, because she wouldn't dare hurt her, or Snape for that matter.

When Alexis asked about her parents Reniara frowned slightly thinking about it. "No they weren't assassins. When I was trained to become an assassin I didn't have a choice. You see my parents sold me when I was three to two complete strangers. The men gave them their money, then proceeded to kill my parents before my eyes, and then took their money back. I never knew anything of parental guidance or love, just an effort to survive. Which, sadly meant killing people and animals just so I wouldn't die. At age eight I killed the two men that had branded me and trained me in every art they could imgaine, and I burnt that horrid place to the ground. Though, being eight the only job opportunities I could find was the one I had been so aptly trained in, I've been an assassin in both the muggle and wizarding world, except I'm trying to wean myself off of it, so to speak. I've been on my own for my whole life basically, so its nice to be able to have someone I can talk to and relate to without feeling like I'm labeled as a killer. I guess it's nice to be able to talk about my past with friends and not have it be painful." Reniara looked at Alexis when she finished speaking, a small smile on her lips. Her past was becoming easier to talk about, though it was still very painful.
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[slytheringal]

Alexis felt kind of bad asking Ren about her parents when she found out that she had been sold by them to three men who trained her to be an assassin. "Oh, I am sorry, I did not realize your parents sold you when you were younger," she apologized hoping she did not strike up any bad thoughts with Ren for she was getting along good with her thus far and wanted to keep it that way.

Alexis smiled, "So, you are probably thankful you met my father, for I am sure he has helped you a lot through your past and getting you through the difficult times. And, even though we don't know each other very well totally yet, I am there for you to talk to as well. I feel that we can be good acquaintances as long as we don't cross each other paths in a fight, because I think you could easily win." She laughed a bit to break the tension of Ren talking about her past.

[Reniara Ashwar]

Reniara Ashwar
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You can try to break me, but it won't ever happen. Keep thinking you understand me when all you have is nothing.
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Speech: Reniara smiled at Alexis, laughing slightly. "There's no reason for you to feel sorry about it. It happened in the past and if never had happened I wouldn't have met your father in the alley, for I was just getting back from a job and was cleaning some of the blood off of my coat."

Reniara nodded, "Yes, your father has helped me in many ways. Thank you, Alexis, and same to you, I'm sure at your age you have a lot of decisions to make, and if you ever need someone to talk to I can help. Even if it doesn't seem like it, I have had a lot of experience with making wrong choices, and I would hate to see someone make the same mistakes I've made."

Reniara smiled as if diminishing the thought. "So you would still fight me even if you knew? Interesting, so then in fact, you would most likely win. I have no intention of harming you if we were put against each other. Though, I can give you a very nice black out and put some pigs blood on you to make it look like you're already hurt so no one trys anything." Reniara joked.

Reniara smiled, but then a serious expression came on her face. "I know my position is a little....how would you put it....distrusting, being a ministry worker. However, I have known the Minister for a long time now, and if anything we are completly different from the Ministry's of the past. If you ever get to meet him, I think you would find it to be a very interesting time. But, my main point is that what I tell the Minister is totally up to me. I have complete free will in everything that I do, so if I did perhaps see you...or someone I knew in a particular circumstance that wasn't the best, I wouldn't go tell the Ministry. What you do is entirely up to you, and I don't want to be the tattle-tale about your decisions. So, in effect I was wondering what you've decided. I know that your father was part of the DE, and his standing with it now I don't really care about. I was just wondering what path you are going to take, and whatever you decide I really do hope you listen to your father, because he's experienced a lot. Obviously, you don't have to answer if you don't want to. But, I hope you know that whatever you decide I will keep in the strictest confidence." Reniara stated, wondering if she had prodded to far.
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[slytheringal]

Alexis smiled and was glad that she did not upset Ren any further for bringing up her parents and was glad that she had no reason to be sorry for bringing them up. She was also smiling for the fact that Ren was thankful that she had met her father, and was thankful that he was there pretty much there at the right time and place. "Yea, my father has been there for me on countless occasions and then of course there are those very few occasions where I wished he was there but wasn't, but that doesn't happen too often. Sometimes I forget he is there for me, and I just go on making decisions for myself with them turning out to be the wrong ones," Alexis replied.

Alexis laughed at the thought of her and Ren in a fight, "Let's just hope we never have to fight and find out, okay? I don't think I could live with myself if I ever harmed you and I am sure you feel the same way."

Then the conversation turned serious and tensed up a bit as Ren had that serious look upon her face with her next few words. The words kind of made Alexis nervous at first, but when she heard that Ren would never tell the Minister anything that she decided to do, a sigh of relief came across her face, however, Alexis decided to keep the fact that she possessed the Dark Mark upon her left arm a secret for a few minutes longer until she was ready to tell Ren, for she had trust in her now even more so then she did when she first met her.

The the big question came up, the question on what side Alexis was to take. Did Alexis lie and tell Ren she did not know or did she tell the truth. She was silent for a few moments as she decided what path to take, tell the truth or lie. "I am going to tell you this, because I do trust you. Back in my seventh year at Hogwarts, I decided to take the D.E. route, even possessing the Dark Mark," she began as she rolled up her left sleeve to reveal the mark to Ren, "Am I proud of my choice, somedays I am but there are those days that I am now. However, right now, I believe I want to take the D.E. route, and that of course is my choice and no one elses. Yes, I have heard my father on countless occasions try to pursway me back to the light side of things because he does not want me to be branded as he once was and is."

Alexis was glad to get the truth out to Ren and hoped that she would not see her any different now.

[Reniara Ashwar]

Reniara Ashwar
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You can try to break me, but it won't ever happen. Keep thinking you understand me when all you have is nothing.
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Speech: Reniara nodded at Alexis' remark about not harming each other, showing that she felt the same way. She carefully listened to what Alexis said about joining the DE and her father. Reniara wasn't shocked by the fact that Alexis had joined, and she knew that Alexis joined when Tom was still in power, but a power shift had occured after his death, and she didn't think, from the sound of it that the new leader knew about Alexis.

Reniara had a serious expression on her face, but it was also one of understanding and openess. "In my eyes I still view you the same way, though with others you may not have that courtesy. I'm not going to try and persuade you otherwise, for I too believe it would be a mistake. Though, I have a different take on why."

Reniara paused before continuing. "For over thirty years now, I have killed people for a living. Looking back I realized I had a choice to make, though mine was quite different, it consisted of kill or be killed. I obviously took the route of killing, but little did I know that I was killing myself from the inside out. All the people I have murdered haunt me till this day. At the time I thought I was making the right choice, but now I have to live with my choices."

Reniara shifted in her seat, hoping that she would get across to Alexis. "I have a bounty on my head, Alexis. I may not look it, but there are a lot of people out there who would love to have my heart ripped out. I constantly have to be on the look out, and I can't walk down a street without suspecting everyone who walks by. I have weapons strapped to my body at all times, and I am always prepared to fight....and to kill."

Reniara took a deep breath. "That's not even scratching the surface, the constant need to survive when most of the world wants you dead for killing others. Trust becomes the most important thing, and the hardest to form with others. Of all my life I have only trusted three people so far, you, your father and Aldar. I have to go in secret, and keep secret the people I care about for fear that they will be harmed, used to get to me. Not only am I putting the ones I care about in danger but what I have done brands me either way, thus limiting the people who would care about me. Fortuanently I met people who were in the same position that I am in, and understand, but there was a time when I loved someone so dearly and what they did in return was try to kill me, for the other lives I had taken. They saw me through the eyes of hate, for the monster I had become. I can't start a family without worrying about their safety and how my past actions will brand them as well. Being the child of an assassin would be no walk in the park."

"I guess what I'm saying is I respect whatever choice you make, but you have to think about the long term consequences. If you fall in love, that person may not return it for your history, or it may ruin your ability to trust people or to give yourself over to love. It will be harder to start a family, or the person you love may not want to be seen with you for fear of being hated. Your life will become a living secret, you will be judged before people actually get to know you. Even your job prospects will go down the drain, being a DE member will become your job and I have a strong feeling that St. Mungo's and possibly even Hogwarts won't like the idea of having a DE member. When you become a DE member you are branded with their mission, your conscious no longer is your own. You have to fullfill the missions to survive, and if you fail you are usually killed. A life like that is no life at all. With my assassinations I was able to make my own decisions as I got stronger and older, but with the DE, and with what we believe to be the leader, they will only use you, and they might use you to get to your father. Your skills are diminished and one reigns superior over you, your life is no longer your own, it rests in someone elses hands who doesn't even think twice about not killing someone. Though, after you've weighed the consequences you have the liberty of deciding your own path."

Reniara paused before continuing. "As you are now, Alexis, no one knows about you being a part of the DE, in essence it was the old DE. If you join the new DE, every moment, every action you take with the DE will make it harder to get away without being torn apart from the inside, from being branded, from not having a life. You also need to think about what draws you to the DE? Do you believe in their 'mission', do you want to be with someone, do you want to prove something to someone or to yourself, are you too stubborn to change your mind, what are your reasons for wanting to join? Then, when you've figured that out figure out your reason for living. Do they match up? My reason for living when I was an assassin was to have food, to protect myself, to not be killed. Now, I've realized my true purpose, my real reason to live and that is to love. Will being with the DE give you the chance to love? To live out your reason to live? To be everything you can be? To be at peace with yourself and happy?" Reniara said, looking at Alexis the whole time, her eyes showing concern as if a warning of what Alexis' future would look like if she joined the DE.
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[slytheringal]

Alexis shifted her position on the chair as she listened to Ren's words, and what she had to say about her choice and such about joing the new D.E.. Of course, Alexis had heard the similiar speeches before from her father and yes, it was getting old, but she was knew that people were just protecting her from all the evil in the world and all the new ways the new D.E. was facing these days. But a part of Alexis wanted to meet the new Dark Lord, she wanted that power of the D.E.. She would often think about running off to find the new Dark Lord but did not for fear of the ones who cared for her would come looking for her, and therefore, putting themselves in danger.

As Ren talked, so many thoughts ran through Alexis's head on what would occur if she joined the new D.E.. Would she find a decent job? At Hogwarts or St. Mungos? Her father worked at Hogwarts and had ties to the D.E. so what was different, people did not have to know that one was part of the D.E.. Would she find love? Or love find her? There were many fish in the sea as she saw it, but the one question, could she kill the ones she loved. That was the only question keeping her from deciding on what path to take.

"I understand everything that you are saying and I understand the whole trust issue. I mean, I hardly trust anyone right now as it is. I trust you, my father, The Malfoys and only a handful of others right now. When I meet someone, it is very hard to trust them at first," she replied before continuing, "As far as being everything I could be? I am faced with those questions all the time, which is the only thing holding me back. But I just wish I could meet the new Dark Lord...for somedays I wished they knew I existed. Then I would not have to run around in my life as if I were hiding from her all the time. Give them time, they will know I exist, I can feel it and usually when I get my feelings, I am usually right."

[Reniara Ashwar]

Reniara Ashwar
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You can try to break me, but it won't ever happen. Keep thinking you understand me when all you have is nothing.
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Speech: Reniara listened carefully to Alexis' words. "You still didn't answer my question on why you wanted to join the DE. Though, is just having her know you exist your main reason? You can have her know you exist without joining the DE. I'm sure she won't treat you any different no matter what side you're on. The first time I met her, she tried killing me with her first spell, and I was just walking down the road. She had no idea of who I was before attacking, it is highly likely that she will do the same to you. Just because your Snape's daughter doesn't mean anything, in fact it may create more friction, she might despise you. Aldar has known her for a long time and he knows that she feeds off of having power, and whenever someone will threaten her position they are killed immediatly." Reniara said her voice showing a hint of worry.

"I know you are still weighing these choices, Alexis. But, if you choose the DE you are committing suicide." Reniara said, her voice stern and showing absolute concern. It wasn't that she believed Alexis didn't have the skills, it was just what the DE leader would do to Alexis....to Snape.
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[slytheringal]

Alexis listened to Ren's words carefully as she thought about her answer as to why she wants to join the D.E.. She truthfully did not really have a great answer for why this time, for last time she wanted to join to help Voldemort come back to power and stronger than before, and even back then she was on the fine line of which side to take.

"You know, truthfully, I do not quite know why I want to join the D.E., I just want to continue on the path I once chose to begin with two years ago. I have gone to Order meetings before and I have been to D.E. meetings as well, so I am still, like two years ago, on that fine line of which path should I choose," she replied as she struggled with her answer.