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Post by Professor Severus Snape on Apr 7, 2011 16:42:20 GMT -5
“Some how I do not see the Ministry buying books & as for Aldar & his puzzles, one could say the same for any one that has a fetish for books. But, I will leave you to tell him on your thoughts” After all if he said something like that to Aldar he might end up in jail.
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Post by Reniara Ashwar on Apr 7, 2011 17:05:48 GMT -5
Reniara laughed, "I have. Many people have complained to him about his strange habits but he doesn't do a thing. He just looks right through them and continues to play with his figurines or puzzle pieces in his bare feet. When I first met him I didn't think he was that strange, but the circumstances were different than now."
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Post by Professor Severus Snape on Apr 7, 2011 17:29:26 GMT -5
"“I see so know you see him as being strange? But, perhaps you can give him the idea to use a spell to shrink the times & free up more room, of course doing that might only lead to him getting more items. Though I do not think you have much to worry on so long as he does not start building forts, it that happens then perhaps you have reason to worry”
But, he could only wait for her words & thoughts to know what her feelings where & such. Not that he was one to speak his feelings but, then he had lived years where to do so, only lead to trouble for him & pain in the end.
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Post by Reniara Ashwar on Apr 7, 2011 17:47:07 GMT -5
"No I don't really see him as strange. He just isn't what a lot of people expected....for a Minister to behave. I...I guess the reason why he collects puzzles and behaves the way he does startled me at first. He is consciously aware of it but at the same time it has become second nature to him. He told me he has to collect puzzles, that he has to be out of place in society so he could send the person he loves messages, so he could let that person know he was thinking of them. And I didn't really understand how this person he loved recieved these messages but I did a little research....apparently the person he loved was killed when he was teenager in a car accident, but he acts as if at any moment they will walk through the door. It's heartwarming to see how much love he had for his childhood friend, but also sad to see how much into despair he has fallen." Reniara looked at Snape.
"It's hard to exlain but I just tell the others to leave him alone. He knows what he is doing and maybe perhaps the person he love will come back...or recieves his messages." Reniara smiled at Snape. She didn't know what to make of Aldar's actions and she thought it was best to not try and analyze them so much.
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Post by Professor Severus Snape on Apr 7, 2011 18:16:46 GMT -5
“From the sound of it he had not full excepted that they are gone, it is not un heard of but, many at some point come to that conclusion & others I suppose could go a long time with, the hope & dream that the person was not dead”
But, it was true normally one had to excepted the person was gone & then the healing could start but, to hold on to that they where still alive could be that, they where not really to let go or believe the person was gone. Snape might in a way be the same though he had excepted the death, he had never forgiven him self for being the reason for it. Perhaps it still would have happened if he had not been there but, he would never know.
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Post by Reniara Ashwar on Apr 7, 2011 18:31:57 GMT -5
"Yes. Though he blames himself for it. He keeps saying if only he had used his magic, if only he had stopped his friend from getting into the car. I told him that there are so many what if's and you can't change the past no matter how much you want to try. You can only change the present, this moment in time. I asked him why he and his friend were so close. He replied with only saying because they enjoyed each other's company, that they were happy together. He ended the conversation at that but I thought about it for a while."
Reniara paused looking at Snape. "I think that the people we lose would be happier if we remembered them, not as what if's, but as they were when they were alive. To move on with our lives while still remembering the moments we shared together. To be the best we can be for love of not only them but of love for life and of others. I think Aldar's friend would rejoice seeing Aldar make it to the top of the Ministry, but I think they would be even happier if they saw Aldar fall in love with someone again. To give someone the love Aldar had once given them."
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Post by Professor Severus Snape on Apr 7, 2011 19:12:22 GMT -5
“You cannot fully blame him, for thinking it is his fault some how. After all than that lose a loved one, feel if they had done some or stopped by to talk, what ever happened would not have & the person would still be alive” Snape held back for a moment before he spoke on “Just give him time, he has to come to terms with what happened & also terms on where he stands in the matter. With time he should come to see it as you do that he could do nothing to stop it & there is nothing he could do to change it”
“Some people have to come to terms with the person being gone, before they can start to move on or hope to do so & many people do remember those they have lost as they where, just some take more time to do it. Perhaps all he needs is time to come to such terms, that there might be some one out there for them”
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Post by Reniara Ashwar on Apr 7, 2011 20:51:31 GMT -5
"Yes, I completly agree with you. I have no control over the matter, and it is not my place to try to make him feel anything or to move on, that would be disregarding his own feelings. I respect Aldar too much to do that to him." Reniara stated.
"Though of course our relationship is purely work related and we both know not to expect anything further from that, which is nice. I don't like leading others on, and when he first told me his story I was concerned that he thought our relationship was something else." Reniara added trying to make clear that she had no feelings for Aldar. She wanted to let Snape know in an offhand way that she wasn't interested in anyone but him.
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Post by Professor Severus Snape on Apr 7, 2011 22:09:29 GMT -5
Snape listened to her words though he said nothing as he listened, he at one point could not say he had not thought that there was something between her & Aldar. But, he was hearing from her now that it was not so & he was not fully sure why she told him this info other then just telling him. But perhaps there was more to it but, at the moment Snape was not trying to think in such ways. It was hard enough to bend to her will to say he would keep his heart open, he still was unsure why he agreed to it he mealy could of said no but, then he perhaps saw it as a challenge that she would back down form, he should of though more on that she just might say yes. “I suppose in away I though you & Aldar where seeing each other, after all you do work together but, I did not think greatly on the idea ether, since it was not my concern”
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Post by Reniara Ashwar on Apr 7, 2011 22:19:13 GMT -5
Reniara looked at Snape seriously, "No. I dislike leading people on, and I already like someone.....but I don't know how they feel. I guess I'm just too scared to say anything."
She then smilled at Snape knowing that it was him she was talking about. "But, I did just recently make up my mind to make that person happy, so.....I will spending more time with them, and maybe.....maybe they might realize that I lov....liked them from the start." Reniara blushed at her inability to say love. It was a powerful word and she couldn't bring herself to say the word outloud. Not knowing if Snape even felt the same way....or even had feelings for her.
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Post by Professor Severus Snape on Apr 7, 2011 22:31:14 GMT -5
Her words to some degree had his attaching “Really & who is this some one? Do I know them?” Perhaps if he though for a moment it was him she spoke of he would not of said what he did but, at the moment it was not even clicking. Snape appeared to find more enjoy meant now at giving her a hard time, then speaking of something else. “So since you are scared to say anything to them, have you given them any hint or have they given you any hints?”
But, Snape learned something she planed to spend more time with this some one then he would be seeing less of her, though he could not stand in her way in matters of the heart ether, he only wished her the best & was a bit surprise she had appeared to find some one already.
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Post by Reniara Ashwar on Apr 7, 2011 22:39:41 GMT -5
Reniara could feel the blush creep up into her cheeks. She had trapped herself in a corner because of her stupid mouth. She wanted him to know...but she was too scared to even look for signs if he even liked her back.
"Well.....uh.....you know them very well, at least I would think you would know them. I mean you....you've known them your whole life. Um....I'm trying to give clues....but uh.....I....I can't really tell how they feel about me....I'm just really nervous I guess...." Reniara stammered, tripping over the words.
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Post by Professor Severus Snape on Apr 7, 2011 22:53:01 GMT -5
Snape though he saw a blush creep into her cheeks but, he waited for her to speak but, her words did get him to thinking on who he knew for that long. “I known them my whole life & you do not think they are too old for you?” Snape was still thinking on her words, perhaps it was slowly sinking in it might be him, it was just not getting to his mind that was thinking. “And what kinds of clue have you given, since if you are giving them & they are not taking not perhaps there is another path or tactic you could try”
Snape looked at Reniara “So how long have you known them” After all if it was some time he might question why, she did not know how they felt or he could talk to the man. Though it would be intresting to see what happened when Snape figured it out but, he was not thinking in the way since he had for a long time not even looked for anyone.
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Post by Reniara Ashwar on Apr 7, 2011 23:02:09 GMT -5
Reniara looked at Snape, her expression serious as if she was holding something back. Her nails dug into the palm of her hands as she shook her head. "I...I just can't keep it inside anymore! I'm just going to make a fool of myself and regret it if I just don't say it!"
Reniara took a deep breathe, looked Snape in the eyes. She looked like a frightened but determined child. "I'm talking about you! The whole time.....everything I've said it's been about you! I can't stand it anymore. When I first met you something inside me clicked! I....I felt like I had a reason to keep living....and all I wanted to do since that day was to make you happy! This whole time I've been trying to find ways to spend time with you! I....I...I love you....and if you don't feel the same way then....then I will still keep loving you....still try to make you happy till the day I die!"
Tears were forming behind Reniara's eyes and she looked down at the ground, truly embarassed with herself. She had never expected she would say it....and now all of it lay in his hands. She would have to accept whatever lay ahead of her....but she knew without him she would be lost forever.
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Post by Professor Severus Snape on Apr 7, 2011 23:26:47 GMT -5
Snape heard Reniara first words but, found it odd that she though it would make her self look like a fool but, as her words went on he felt like some one had threw cold water on him & he was left reeling form the info he heard. And not question if she was playing with him or if she meant it & that left him to think on his own feelings that he had yet to figure out since his mind was still reeling form that she said.
But, her words made him come to a dead stop & he was silent, still not sure what to say & figuring this was not the best place to speak of it ether, there where to many that might over hear or see something they should not.
Snape looked at Reniara before he spoke, though his voice was only to the point she would hear him, not wanting others to hear. “I do not know what to say to your words Reniara, I have yet to figure my own feelings out or what they would be considered but, it might be wise to go else were to speak these matters over”
It would also give him time to think, since he was unsure of his own feelings & did not know where to start. True he enjoyed her company but, who would not when they where shunned by the world. But, he knew it felt different he just did not know in what manor, the last time he had any feelings for anyone he was still nothing more then a boy & not even out of Hogwarts so he had much to think on & try to figure out.
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